I missed SBS Gayo DaeJeon last ~~night.~~ 2 days. (damn its already 31ST NOW =.=)

~~on purpose.~~

not exactly.

i was not in the mood to watch it because i was too tensed thinking about my pmr result.
though i really wanna watch it. guess i was too depressed to watch.

Can we move on to the spazzing first before mentioning my result?

U can't say no. its me who decide anyway. duh im the one who's typing -.-

So i watched it today. Despite how bad my mood is. I had a hard time chilling down by myself. ~~After taking the results~~

UGH WHO ON EARTH AM I STARTING TO TALK BOUT IT NOW. IT'LL JUST MAKE ME FEEL WORSE. SO, NOT NOW.

Lets move back to my actual topic. Yeah, sbs gayo daejeon.

I finished watching all the awesome performances @ youtube. ~~regret for not catching it live when i could ><~~

I'll just share some videos that i rate as perfect because there's too much videos there. so if u haven't watch it, go watch it on utube now. or else u'll regret.

[LIVE HQ/HD 720p 29.12.08] Taeyang (태양) (Big Bang 빅뱅) vs Junsu (준수)
(DBSK TVXQ 동방신기) - Piano Battle (Don't Wanna Try vs My Everything)

THIS IS SO FAR ONE OF THE BEST HQ/HD VIDEOS I'VE EVER CAME ACROSS.
do i even need to mention how beautiful is the perf?
taeyang's english is pure awesome while junsu sings with perfect emotions again.
this time im not being biased but he's just so so handsome & gorgeous in the video (he always is but i nvr reli noticed how beautiful & manly is his side view).
& i just simply love his heavy korean accent whenever he sings in english (this time im a lil biased XD).
well, js's english may not be as good as taeyang but i think they both have their own specialities & charms in their own way.
oh yes, js defnitely reminded of donghae bcuz hae was the one who introduced "my everything" to me.
he performed the song in supershow dvd.
& it was a really beautiful song with meaningful lyrics.
i'm not gonna say who's better, but they certainly did touch my heart with their performances.
for some reason, i really wish i was the microphone because omg.. (im not a pervert k)
they just have sucha lips skinskip contact with the mic so close.

(gosh am i jealous.. of a MIC!? &^%##@)

[LIVE HQ/HD 720p 29.12.08]DBSK (TVXQ) (동방신기) - Wrong Number & Mirotic

It is said this is the last mirotic performance & promotion from them T.T
UH, I'LL MISS MIROTIC~ A LOT! guess i can only see it again @ their 3rd concert tour in seoul, beijing & etc. whats for sure, no malaysia in the list T_T darnit.
mirotic is sold out at msia leh. i wanna see them perform live uh :((
nevertheless, this perf is superb. i really like the acoustic version of mirotic cuz its combined with lotsa violin & the whole music is great.

[HQ] TaeYeon, SunYe, Davichi - Stand Up For Love @ SBS Gayo DaeJun 081229

U know what? I'm starting to grow interest for davichi (jus discovered them lately tru "LOVE&WAR") & i totally fell in love with the song. They're a talented lovely group.
& seeing sunye singing on the same with them is just a beautiful scenery. taeyeon is good, i hv to admit. her singing skills are pretty much considered good. oh let me get this straight - i'm not an anti nor fan :)
sunye obviously has quite little parts, & i think she should take up the high notes parts. but nevermind, davichi will do. they're awesome (:

[HD] Dec,29,08 가요대전 Shinee 샤이니 - Love like Oxygen + Replay + AMIGO

To be frank i used to hate love like oxyen & amigo. yes i mean dislike. i ain't gonna be fake & say i like something just because majority loves it bcuz somehow both of the songs is not my cup of tea. EXCEPT FOR NOONA NOMU YEPPO :)
BUT. Not till i just lazily watched & find myself shaking my head little by little in front of the screen. HAHAHA.
Somehow as i continue to watch more perfs i grow fond of the song & began liking it. its just like how i can't accept mirotic at first.
i hv to go tru watching a few live perfs & find myself dancing to the beat (moving my hands, doing chin dance) all sorts of dance u can do while sitting down. haha.
best example, i danced to nobody everytime i watch WG perfs.
its the simplest dance. hand pointing, hand motions, mostly hands. LOL XD
um im going away from the main focus lol.
ugh, yejin is one lucky lady being surrounded by the boys during noona nomu yeppo T.T
at that point, how i wish i was standing in her shoes, being seduced by the innocent boys especially onew who'll melt my heart easily if he stands & dances that close to me.
gah, even b4 dat, i might stand like a stone & stare into nowhere because i can never stare into a guy's eyes.
especially someone as innocent & charming as onew :D
no not only onew, that includes key, jonghyun & minho as well. TAEMIN? HAHAHA.
I can control him because he's my dongsaeng XDDDD

[LIVE HQ/HD 720p 29.12.08]Wonder Boys 2 (Shin Dong & Sung Min, Seung Ri, Tae Min, Jo Kwon) - Snsd (소녀시대) & Wonder Girls (원더걸스) 'Kissing You 키씽유 & Nobody 노바디'

I COULDN'T STOP LAUGHING & SLAPPING MY LEGS & EVERYWHERE THROUGHOUT THE WHOLE PERFORMANCE. I MUST DOWNLOAD THIS LMAO XDDD
wonder boys is the best !!
i just love the fact seungri, sungmin, jokwon & taemin is in it because they're were my favourites for each groups they're in.
& aww, shindong, know what? I LOVE YOU TOO :DDD
you made me laugh like a mad woman last time when u rapped yoobin's part in SO HOT.
& this time u made me rolling on the floor laughing my ass out XD
its great how they capture WG'S expressions almost each time when "Wonder Boys" perform xD
Taemin just did Sohee’s NOBODY part and the camera cut to her giggling. SO CUUUTE!!
& jokwon is one unique guy. his expressions are sooo funny !!
when i only can picture him being serious & emotional when he sang "this song" with 2am , but this guy's got sucha dork & "lan c" face. LMAO XD !!
i mean lan c as in he can act dorky & ego expressions in a funny way :DDD

Wonder Girls - Nobody (Futuristic Remix ver.) @ Festival S 081229

i prefer R&B but futuristic's not bad too. they look fierce & sexy in a way :D go WG !!

081229 SBS Gayo Daejun - F.T Island - Saranghooae + Girls Don't Know + Heaven

u know what. im not a big FT fan, but my heart really aches when i see hongki struggling like that :( he really needs a break. man, he really doesnt look good since he was just hospitalized.
he even paused for a few seconds there when the song was still on, obviously cannot tahan d T.T
u can jus notice it when his voice cracks a lot T__T
but nevertheless, i still love this perf because u still go on till the very end !! u did not give up. applause for hongki please.
its hard to sing in that condition yet he can still do it although there're many flaws ;(
i feel very bad for him T.T sherlin ah, i guess ur heart aches even more right? :\

LETS HOPE HE'LL GET WELL SOON !!!

& of course...

081229 SBS Super Junior H- Pajama Party

not HQ but ah who cares. i cant find the HQ. watching this makes me super miss them again ;(
they look fab in suits.

Wonder Girls - Opening Dance + Survivor @ KBS Gayo Daejun 081230

look properly its KBS NOT SBS. but ah, who cares. ITS HERE. THE HIGHLY ANTICIPATED WONDERBANG ;D
the little cane dance thing made my ~~day~~ night, really.
a little from far my expectation as there're not much interaction among them one to one. i still miss the couples cute fanservices xD
after the cane dance, wg performed DESTINY CHILD'S SURVIVOR. WAY TO GO WG :D
they look so cute & lovely swinging their long skirts. reminds me of the typical mexican/spanish dance style. :)

thats among my favourites ;D

i was really down today, thought i'm really not gonna eat nor drink anything. after taking results,i went home & locked myself in my room. throw myself in bed & cover myself with blankets. sobbed for 3 hours or so. i wanted to calm down but the tears just won't stop dripping out. i reached for my hp bside me & played my music player. and..

"LIFE COULDN'T GET BETTER !! OH YEAH YEAH YEAH ! LIFE COULDN'T GET BETTER!! "

miracle came on in my shuffle list. the hp was just bside me on the bed playing music itself with me sobbing continuously. as this voices pass tru my ear, somehow i felt protected, secure & strength. somehow, my heart feels as if someone is patting & calming it down. somehow, i thought i'm not gonna be okay even if its super junior song because i was in a almost dead mode alr. but i was wrong. these voices save me from depression.
i love them more than i thought. they matter more to me than i thought. they hv more ability to drag me out of depression more than i thought. just with their voice.
its not even something DBSK can do to me. although i thought dbsk song will be more powerful to me. but its because i listen to sj first & i place them in my heart firmly first.
so even if i have new loves, they unknowingly can't enter the important spot no matter how much i want them to, because super junior filled the VIP SPOT. already.

more songs continue to play. when MARRY U came on, i was already shrinked with more tears.
so this is how invisible "strength & love" feels. this is how the feeling of "protected" by someone all the time although they're not beside you feels.

'elfs protect super junior, super junior protects elf' right?

so we can really gain this special strength. it really exists. what a miracle.

i realised every human will hv a hard stage to go tru in life, including me.

i fell down.. i should stand up again. be stronger so that i don't fall easily again.
just like how i always encourages wonder girls, dbsk & sj, by telling them not to give up, i must not give up myself too. if not i'm a very useless fan.

but what really makes me guilty & heart ache is my dad still comforts me at times like this. my sis still calls & encourage me for 2 hours on the phone although i can't say a single sentence. she knew i was crying too hard. yet she still go on encouraging instead of scolding. yes thats my family.
they support me. even if i fell over & over again. i wish they'd at least scold me so that i can feel better. so that i won't hafta feel this guilty.

Although my result is not superb great, i should stop blaming god & myself. In fact I should thank god for blessing me because at least, i did not fail any subject. At least, i got A's.
I should stop comparing with others because that'll just make me suffer more. right?
I'll go my way & work hard next year. AJA AJA HWAITING !

p/s : anyone know any effective way to cure insomnia? skul's starting soon & insomnia start attacking me -.- ~~proof? look at the time of my post.~~ sorry my blog's time incorrect =.=
its 4.17am now. srsly. help me someone.