HIATUS!
there isn't much time left till the first monthly test (why do i have a feeling i'm gonna screw everything again DD<) BUT this isn't worth failing! I CAN'T I CAN'T I CAN'T. *breathesin&out*

♪ not that i find it funny how majority of the ppl who reads my blog came from the states,it's just yeah,funny xD seriously my english is sooo fail -izdazed&embarassed-
so stop reading y'all! XD okay that's a big fat joke. 8D

♪ i am about to finish EVERYTHING IS ILLUMINATED by J Safran Foer(awesome book!)
but god,this piece of art is soo beautiful i would cry once i turn to the last page. i don't think i can bear finishing it,but gah ♥ i'm totally in love with the writer's style of writing & he just simply makes beauty seems so effortless, more than how beautiful nature is. ♥

anyway i should stop reading at night,it kills my sanity. i'm beginning to imagine things & they seem so surreal you wouldn't even believe >:|

♪ ANDD i'm gonna have to DIE before the WGM episode with yonghwa-seohyun even airs. seriously now, no i don't have a bone to pick with the girl(she's probably the only kid i approve besides sooyoung & taeyeon), but still. this isn't something to cheer about, i hope they don't just do this all just for the ratings cuz it'd seem so ridiculous & idk, shitty? :|
but other than that, i'm fine with that i guess. & the comments about this has been so lulzy, one of them which had me cracking up is someone stating the trufax of these two-

1)seohyun is not interested in guys
2)yonghwa's ideal girl from snsd is tiffany!

i presume this convo might happen between them;-



....-& the drama goes on. idkidk.
hahaha. look at what my imaginations did to me :\ mang yonghwa isn't that gay, but you get the idea :D

♪ i'll probably still post little snippets of word spits though. where else can i turn to for some peace? but gah that stalker in my cbox dropped some heart-warming messages a few days ago & gah that just made my day for DAYZ.
i honestly do think my writing suck,(not trying to be ego f you) but the thing is, even if i think my writing suck,i STILL write. & idk why. its like telling a blind dude to write even though his eyes is blinded,he could still write. lol omg the comparison ;-;

♪ the list of the guys i had crushes on is becoming endless its crazy. it makes me look gay :\
i will TRY to not crush into that cool dude that EASILY anymore. shoot all these dudes who is so effortlessly beautiful. who owns a beautiful soul. ♥ muz insert the -thereisnomoreniceguysonplanetearthin21stcentury- thing on ma mind. mm hmm. that way, i dont go around claiming that dude-next-door as my latest hubby & annoy the crap ouuta ppl & then suffer punch in the ass as the result of being such a idiotic bitch :DD

♪ & note to stalker: i like you. here's lots of ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ for you. keep on stalking, but dont remain anonymous the next time you leave a msg okie? at least leave me a name so i can address you,alright? haha that's a joke,i'm trying to be fun you see :D
lol anyways thanks for reading! (i know where are you from, you stalk my fics in soompi! LOVE YOU! -blows air kisses-


till then, xoxo y'all.
(won't be long till i'm back rofl)

p/s: take care people. the weather has been HORRIBLE and its most likely going to happen for the rest of the year. ikr? WTF? EFF THE GLOBAL-WARMING. ~!@#$%^%$#@!
p.p.s: my head is srsly going 빙글빙글 (round & round lol i love u-kiss xD) & its hard to even read at night these days since my brain functions according to the weather .so imagine,even the night hasn't been nice! blame the shitty weather if my life flunked itself again. -0-

떠나고 싶어. 제발.

The smell of rain hung heavily in the air, so thick it was almost stifling. Droplets of translucent water hung on the tips of leaves, threatening to fall. Fishing out the old & ragged yet so precious mp3,you plug them in your ears & the world immediately shuts down. this is what it does,miracle;magic. Fingering the crisp notes among the bunch of 4238794627 other papers,you began to hum. & write. there is a pencil just about every corner where you can reach them easily. they're pretty essential. you've got tonnes of deep thoughts running through your mind & when a good inspiration came at the most unexpected time, i.e;usually when you're having a meal or in the shower,you just stop whatever you're doing at the moment & rush off to jot them down quickly before they disappear. but tonight there's almost no inspiration,even if it was such a lovely night filled with peace. crumbled papers are everywhere,from where you sit all the way to the door. heck it,even all over the top of the bed next to you. there's no trashcan,you basically don't make that much of a trash in your room. it's a thing you've been so strict about,no matter what is on the floor-just no papers. because you'd feel so eager to scribble something about the day on any paper you see once you get back home. ;mostly about how depressing today is. and you compare today's misery to yesterday's. has it gotten any better? yes? no? either way, you don't care because you're finally home,though this place doesn't belong to you. but tonight is an exception, you can't really be bothered by that anymore. 

i'll get my own home,you strengthened that point once again in your mind yet you always fail to do so. to even TRY.you almost wonder each time you fail, what does God have in store for you next? BRING IT ON,MAN. you've lost intact with reality, & you're too far behind to keep track with NOW. since its almost impossible to run anymore,you just sit back in the past & see where time takes you to. wherever you go now,it is not important anymore. you've given up present for past,past for future,present for future. do you even have any idea on what you're doing? let's just see where time could take you to because you rely on nothing but it. \

they don't know life, one of the many voice in you whispers;-'i was wrong. all along.'
do you know how it feels to be effortless yet trying so hard to no avail?
because you've never try hard enough. try,try,try till you pant & pant & pant till you can't breathe anymore. that's what ENOUGH is about.
'but no matter how hard i try,i can't just "live each day to its fullest" because really,how much tomorrow(s) left do we have? with that said i'm not implying about the end of the world or shits like that.'
people age. you know? if you don't that's because you're too young to realise.

i''ll be the first to leave if i don't make it. '

it keeps haunting you-all this crazy thoughts about tomorrow,tomorrow & tomorrow. how are you gonna live? you're a subject-to-change person,thus motivations does not work because you forget them instantly when faced with yet another huge ass challenge.
sure,at times you can be REALLY motivated & all,but to actually deal with the shit itself,it takes a shitload of courage & effort. then again,have you been viewing life a little too lightly? 

your heart aches. so much. because you simply care too much;more than you should. worst of all, you've NEVER showed it in the right way. 

Labels: melancholies.