― Lao Tzu

 Anything will happen tomorrow- the best thing is to live the present to its fullest.
I believe each place has its own beauty to offer. But it isn't healthy to be crazily obsessed with any place at all to the point you could not rationalize over logical thinking. 

Also, most importantly, not forgetting yourself and where you belong to. Looking at Malaysia, I've long got over the racism because this is where I'm born even if you think we still live on trees chew on banana leaves for food or travel by foot or even if you can't find it in the globe so what?
If there's one thing that Malaysia has taught me, is to be proud of the country and its unique cultures. The world out there is just a temporary escape to experience a different reality.

and so when you finally travel-
You not only go with the purpose just to have fun but with the intention to take upon something, learn it and nail it into life. You'll be able to  broaden your view about the world and even come back to your homecountry feeling more appreciative of your homeland. 
Who needs it most?
Basically, everyone. Whether you are proud of your own country or not, there will bound to be changes in your views after experiencing the world out there.

~ VENICE

haha how did blogthings generate the accuracy of their results? forgotten whats its about but it says....

It's likely that you'll be lucky with money, though this luck may come later in life. o rly?

You are impulsive and tend to follow your heart.

You tend to be stubborn. You don't take other people's opinions seriously. hmm...okay...sometimes :|

You are objective and logical. You make a good businessperson. um excuse me? i make the most NON-SENSE thing ther, bb.

You are helpful and giving. You like cooperating, and you're always willing to lend a hand.

You are a nosey person and a bit of a snoop. You can't help but be curious! who isn't?

You are pessimistic and cynical. You expect the worst from people. well i suppose they say always expect the worst so the other person will always have a room for improvement?

& some other stuff to do with body parts. ha

People see you both as reserved and sweet.
You tend to be very sensitive and detail oriented.
The smallest things can please or annoy you. You tend to be internally moody.
Perceptive and intuitive, you understand people quickly - though you usually won't tell them.

& includin some other good stuff i took,. basically it all concludes that i'm a philosophical person.

v_v can you tell how this week of exam has been like?

here, have ma fake nature social work caps, well it turns out really fake kekekekeke





so yet another one hell of a exam week goes by! well it wasn't that bad. next week & the following week is the real torture though. especially accounts. UGH ;~;
anyway my mood swings has been really bad these days & i've been throwing tantrums to everyone who cares about me. i'm hurting them ): especially dad. there's not even a day when we don't communicate by argueing every single matter. as he grows old he's more sensitive, i understand that. but he doesnt seem to understand that as i grow up i tend to be more aggressive too. & that is laying towards a bad direction cuz i'm so competitive you wouldn't believe it. in some ways i'm just sucha a perfectionist its wearing every single energy out from me. idk. & i know i dont work hard enough because i'm still aggressive. i need to let it go that way so i'll be good but sigh. dont even ask whats wrong with me. you dont wanna know. u_u
theres a lof of things i wanna do with a friend. but my urges just doesn't shine through enough to be noticed that i'm actually a bright person, if you make me. /headesks/
i've been longing for ♥

anyway. 2 days ago i was like SCREW YOU TAYLOR'S. DD: Gimme my damn mass comm/H&T and not biz you bum! oh my gon' be wasted college life in one day.. T-T
but now i'm just like fyeah taylors sure has some kind people around i'll be going for two programs! both business & hospitality&tourism wheee~ TvT

and fuck. i've gone from very decisive/certain to VERY indecisive/uncertain. sometimes i just dont know EXACTLY where my future lies in. i have a bit of passion for everything there isn't more or less or nytin like that cuz as a passionate teen we just have an urge to try everything out dont we? but as for my case i'm just torn but i think i'm pretty darn certain now. i do get shook up a lil from time to time but in the end i still head back to the same direction i wanted to. few days ago i was struggling and sorta like had a "brain war" haha but its all good now. but dang its so true that the older you grow the more indecisive you get.

now i just worry about my abilities. if i were to take up business i'm just worried i'm not capable enough to shoulder such a huge thing cuz business=amazing race. LOL its a much more complicated & brain-cracking race & i know i'm not that well-suited for this cuz i'm not even good with maths & see thats why D: since im such a huge perfectionist H&T might be the one for me~ but ah man idk. we'll see when i spent my CLOD during the mid-term holidays :)


p.s history. oh why do i keep screwing you. >_o

i'm seriously fed-up of people's misleading thoughts that all grown ups must look/act their age. seriously dont you guys gays ever learn science. its the FREAKING GENES. and metabolism rate. k? yes i understand perhaps you dont see ppl with my built often but pls just plz stop with all your whiny rambles OMG youre 17 wow you sure is tiny yada yada because it annoys me to no end. how would you like it if i randomly come up to you & say OMG YOU 16/17/18/19? YOU LOOK LIKE A FREAKING 25. Ha. now old< young

thus to top that off i probably have the worst eating habits among the circle of people i know. i nap right after my meals because yes imma pig like that, dont exercise often, probably only twice a month(yoga is an exception but im not sure about maintaining da shape though...), and supper by all means meant nothing but just eating half an hour before bed. but that probably tell why my digestive system aint working very well. i get gastric almost everyday. it gets worse as i grow up. so i'm usually moody in the morning & yet ppl mislead their thoughts again thinking i'm untouchable. srsly DO YOU EVEN CARE? so dont bother. because whatever i eat, be it healthy or unhealthy they just go down & benefit nothing to my body T^T i think most of my daily meals contains a large sum of protein but heck where did they all go? theyre not turning good. & i'm too lazy to care. and this is when i get really irritated just because i have slightly high metabolism rate & a smaller built than you doesnt mean i'm a piece of junk. pffttt? & yes im eating a large amount of food everyday so how is it my fault that im not growing good? pft.

- suprisingly i study better in the school library than at the comfort of my own home xD looks like i now have a great past-time after school. i'm not eager to go home anyways.

- ♪♫ BONAMANAAAAAAAAAAA!

p.s down with throat infection. now i cant speak a word. at all. FML

all this while i didnt realise i was being immature..but now i do. isn't it far too awkward to start like normal again? can we actually look at each other like i've never ever said those mean things & all? im sorry i cant.
our gap grew too big nothing could be done to save this dying out bond anymore. we wont be able to talk like nothing happened you get what i mean? even if you could i cant, because it felt so honestly bad and the guilt-UGH. sry. like, dont forgive me?
i finally had the courage to look at you but when you looked away. Ouch. now i know how it feels. finally had a taste of my very own medicine and thats not even ALL TO BEGIN WITH. i cant imagine how much pain i'd caused you. the reason why is.. i can tell you dont think of me as a friend anymore. i've left a bad bad impression in your heart. i'm the biatch in your heart. and that thought hurts so bad i decided to just let it go & for once & for all i'll be the biatch in this conspiracy.

because you did nothing wrong. aight?

you know just when when his voice traps you. youre so used to darkness. unless hes a creeper you trust him. that voice was beautiful.. you've been searching.. found it. what do you do now? let it lead you or back off?


i think i do it too much >DDD why is that man so awkward & hauntingly beautiful at the same time? not too fond of him in rl but i guess media does him no justice. he's deep. but he hid it well with the image he built for the media. sigh.
should stop paying attention for the smallest thing noone will ever notice. cuz i'm being so odd haha.

back to books. ): i hate life hate moneh hate the world hate books hate education hate everything omg T__T

♥ the next freakin exam. -0-
18th freakin MAY TO 4TH FREAKING JUNE. shoot just kill me. btw its almost the middle of the year and
number of varities show watched: 0

lol believe me. i hadn't had my dose of kpop for ages. the good thing is, i'm succesfully a non-addict now (okay maybe just half but still i'm outta the fandom scene for quite a while) & it was frustrating at first but now i'm just blehh. i think it is less exhausting now & whee save energy ppl dont go on the computer so much HAHAHHAAHHAHAHAH WTF DID I JUST SAID THAT HAHAHAHAHA XDD
you gotta thank this yr for draggin me outta the fandom rly.
anyway the bad thing is even with the time i've succesfully saved after the kpop hiatus i STILL didn't appreciate it enough to prove it on my studies. NOW THIS IS THE REAL BUTTHURT. (*&^%$#@!~!@#$%^&*(&^%$#@!~
BUT THIS FREAKING TIME. I'M AWAKE. MY EYES HAS NEVER BEEN WIDER YEAH OOO______OOO
no i'm not gonna promise anything because it only burdens me & i'll go even more emo & depressed when i didnt manage to keep my promise & reach my aim. so it all will tell when i do my papers. & i'll shut up before i start ranting promises like i'll work hard blah blah blah SHIT I BETTER GO NOW BYE PEEPS

/random-
student: *yawns*
teacher: you there PLEASE BE PAYING THE FUCKING ATTENTION TQ
student: *yawnnnnssssss*
teacher: *&^%$#@#$!@$%^&**&^%$@!~%$
student: -brb brain not responding-

xD epic fail, haha/

p.s oh & just so you know, i get very easily discouraged so stfu

it doesn't bother me anymore. well,actually nothing bothers me anymore. =) right now i'm happy and thats what matters >D i cant promise i'll live everyday to its fullest because im not a cheerful person(ouch used to be can?) like that but i'll try, well i'm still emo as i am but its all good the next second ill be fine~ ^~^
i need to be sad before i be happy so i dont feel all that bad.something is so wrong with me.sigh. nyway
im not lettin anythin get into my way anymore. its hard for the maturity cells to develop but i think i had enough to grow up now. i hope this is right & i'm not thinking the wrong way instead. i hope my p.o.v(s) generally is right enough to be mature. i may not grow up in my actions, but i am constantly learning something & finding the meaning in it day by day. THIS, im doing it very hard because i dont like to have weak thoughts & be an aimless/thoughtless/insensitive person. wait you think i am? go ahead. idc cuz you aint got nothing on me

♥
i've developed such a deep crush for rainy days & stormy nights (crush? you call that crush when you liked it since you were like,idk 6? :D) i was born on a rainy night or morning if you prefer, 12.24am to be exact, and no unlike teuk im not an angel that descended to earth but the opposite. to the point i couldn't find any word to express my undying love(im such a sunshine hater gloomy wannabe haha) no rly i dont think anything could make me feel more at ease than a windy /rainy/stormy night because thats when my mind functions sunk into imaginations the best. :D a lot of thoughts,good or bad,meaningful or meaningless,they all roll in like how stars fill the sky one by one accompanying the lonely moon. & so they stay throughout the night chit chatting with the moon and winks at one another, shining down to earth. i'd say, the stars exist for the moon. they're there for her. sometimes they flush my mind so fast it was too much to handle so that explains the lack of conscious in rl D:
they say i think too much but dont sensitive ppl think the most? dont ppl who think a lot, love a lot too? idk.

i cant be bothered can i? all of an effing sudden this adult syndrome thing is hitting me so hard i'm never using my parents money for any useless purpose again.
whatever i wanna achieve now... i'll use both my hands. all my own effort. what can i do i aint capable of anything as far as i can remember so whats a good job with mid-average pay? I'LL DO ANYTHING. BUT I'M ONLY 17. SUCKS. no im not running out of cash but this is what i wanna do for this home. i wanna contribute something. not just sit there and
& it came to me-
blogshops. the internet. the effin internet. what have i been doing with it? ive been spending so much time shopping online(okay now i dont generally buy every single thing, just that i'm used to the guidelines and i only pick stuffs that is worthy) but why didnt i realise i could do the same too? if i could set up a blogshop or do some retailing selling in lowyat... it'll be fun. whatever it is i'm confident and well getting started is easy but it gets hard in the process and i probably wont even make all that much due to the competitive market.(marketing research anyone?) but its all good. haha i'm an avid online shopper myself(not anymore) so
long as i keep my head on it & work hard its no big deal^^ but that shall wait...at least not until SPM ends. well idk, i cant wait any longer. sigh. why didnt i think of this last year!? UGH. theres gazillions sponsors looking for sellers in lowyat & im never bothered. !!??!!????!!??? OH THE REGRET. DDDDD<
man i thought so hard day by day but it never came to me. well FINALLY! i cant wait to get started. geeeeez. x____x oh mang idk since when i've dug an interest for business. if anything theres only about 3 things i wanted to do. business promises the furthest future. something i could foresee myself doing it for a long time...... but ah well. idk. ^^

I hate always having to ask my parents for money. idk that feeling eats at me so bad. I BEARED WITH IT FOR 4 FUCKING YEARS EVER SINCE HIGH SCHOOL, RIGHT NOW I'M JUST A FEW STEPS CLOSER TO ADOLESCENCE STAGE. and if i could... i'd do everything but no i'm no genius and so i have to figure out things with my lousy brain tq

whatever you could bring me down 49324932048029 times & i'll still stand up again. aight?

p.s this was meant to be posted on labour day but the connection went cuckoo for days. right now im having some mood disorder again. FML

Labels: bring me down bby; it adds my strength.