no remedy to cure this pain. cause i believe there's nothing left for me..
my innocence is killing your innocence. -Excuses ♪♫

i'm clueless. and 2009 is now a past.. be it good or bad,it's part of history.

welcoming the new year with a sorry heart..
..so welcome again 2010. like i'd believe you won't suck. when there's this stupid college entrance exam that we can't escape from. DDD<

i'd like to skip 2010 if i could but its trufax i can't,ha. might as well try to make the best outta it. yeah :|

i wonder too much. - why,how,
i think too much. -what if(s),but(s),
i slack too much. -nomnomnom. bed bed bed.

i've been a bad person throughout the year-yes in any way you could think of. 나쁜 사람! because well,imma sensitive thug. i just don't know how to show my feelings or i show it in the wrong way.
i tend to do stuffs in the wrong way -anyway. & then regret comes next,which nothing could beat how shitty it feels. maybe that shall change. that should ALL change. i should stop being selfish & care more about others. stop complaining how shitty life is when there's so much more unfortunate ones out there that is needy & really needs help.
& STOP SLACKING- THIS. ~!@#$%^&$#~!
also the sad thing is, i threw a lot of tantrums at the wrong person. sad case.
ppl always say its better to regret than never,but really regret is one of the worst feeling in existance. ever.
i'd like to deny the fact that i'm paranoid too but that,is another trufax sadly.

because my life is like a drama plot,as much as i'd like to not believe,to run away from the seemingly ridiculous fact, it just is. i could make a drama outta my life right now. right here. right then.
ppl dont believe what i say. it makes me insecure. it makes me feel insignificant. it makes me to lost faith & trust in others. so i dont spill things to ppl that easily because i don't know who to trust. besides,i only communicate with ppl who connect with me. sounds pathetic right?
which makes me wonder,about time to change that. i cant always sit in my zone & expect ppl to understand how i feel when they know nothing. drama. hardships. those ridiculous words coming from a psycho every night. how did i go through it all? tears wash them away,that easy. that's the least tears could do.

& yo lizzy, it's also almost a miracle how great we got along,but well tats cuz we're born in the same month thus the chemistry. i love you,just to let you know ♥ it's the second time i'm saying this word & really mean it (trufax).
it's almost funny,how the very few true mates i found lasts so short. no,not in a bad way. they all left. are we even filming a drama here? why pick my life & make a drama out of it? was it that funny to mess with me? or are you just testing me? DO YOU EVEN EXIST? DO YOU HEAR MY PRAYERS?
yes i'm challenging YOU. show me the light & i'll follow willingly.

i need to start motivating myself,gear up & prepare myself for this hard year~ music. studies. one of them slightly saved me from depression. so from now on,both of these must work together to distract me from negative shits.

& hey,just a quick note to you,in case youre reading,dont take those words i wrote in the past to heart. cuz i didn't. im not sure if i even mean them,yeah. i just dont wanna lost another friend so plz understand.



p/s: of all the chapters in life,this has got to be the hardest? at least i think so. remember,astrology predictions is insanely/unbelievably accurate. don't mess with it.