i sat by the corner falling into my own world..shifting my eyes to books. trying to communicate with words & not voices of the ones around me. listening, i heard the words speaking- words.

weird.

awkwardness-its pretty much everywhere. flowing like a smoke all around. i choose to keep to myself because everyone pretty much seems into their own as well. except the fact..i'm one. they're two..three..four..or maybe more. i'm just that one person.

i think i've established a really cold shelter within me. i pretty much hate distracting others..or making the first move. it seems that everyone is pretty much comfortable with their own groups. so whether i'm there or not.. it doesn't really matter. i never really existed at the first place,though.

im too tired of dealing with my own life it seems i have no energy to care about socializing anymore. i have a lot of responsibilities,crazy ones that not YOU,YES YOU COULD THINK OF.

seeing how easy life is for teens of my age.. i feel even more responsible because i had a lot to deal with in life. i'm not your ordinary 16 yr old.

i carry serious responsibilities. not joking matters.
i carry burdens that not one 16 yr old can carry.
YOU'D NEVER WANT TO KNOW HOW THIS FEELS. UNLESS YOU GET TO BE ME FOR ONE DAY,JUST ONE DAY. THAT IS WHY YOU'LL NEVER KNOW BECAUSE THAT'LL NEVER HAPPEN.

i want to let it all out,but it isn't as easy as i thought,so crying is my best solution. for i didn't have anyone that i could talk to,at least crying them out isn't as painful as keeping them inside,not having anyone to tell,& even worse pretending to be happy when i'm not. that is just purely lying to yourself,i know because i've tried this before.

i'm sorry,friends. do i even have one? i get the feeling of the more noone knew who i am..the easier it is to leave because i wouldn't have feelings for anyone , i wouldn't have lovely friendships, so if one day i left.. i wouldn't cause so much of a pain to anyone. & to myself as well.


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i had the worst sleep the entire night yesterday.. i'd constantly woke up every 15 minutes with no reason.


..i think.. i've prepared my heart for this. when,i dunno.. i don't care anymore because this isn't the first time. i have to go through this alone,all alone.


i'll be fine i'll be fine i'll be fine i'll be fine i'll be fine i'll be fine i'll be fine i'll be fine i'll be fine i'll be fine i'll be fine i'll be fine i'll be fine i'll be fine i'll be fine i'll be fine i'll be fine i'll be fine

MEY YEN HWAITING!!!! YOU ARE NOT THAT WEAK OKAY? SO STOP FALLING DOWN!

힘내.


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on a slightly happy note,the postman came this morning..unexpected.
although i'm not really in the mood,but this still brings a smile on my lips.so this adds up to ABC .


precious thing<3


& MBC LALALA made my day. Sushi (suju+so nyeoh shi dae) anyone?? ^^ though i'm not a fan of snsd,their music is acceptable.




i actually teared,no suprise.
its so beautiful it wiped away all my miseries for a second.i mean,for 3 minutes & 31 seconds. (:
i always knew they're gorgeous,i hope antis can stop bashing them & give them a chance ^^

thank you for filling in my emptiness,even if its only for a second..thank you.you're the only thing i can look up to,the only energy pill i had..your voices that please my heart.