what was i thinking?

i'm still a little saddened by geng's absence this coming sat. after all boy's the one whom i truly adore(which reminds me,hey! he's my first crush y'kno? :Q____)♥ that's something that hasn't changed(my respect towards him),no matter how often i change my bias. and kangin.. that's an awfully long break. :| pft,dont even get me started on kibum. >:|
when will they be 13 again?

tbh my faith for kpop has shaken ever since jay's incident. we all witnessed how naive can fans be & it's just pure lame & immature. idc if i offended anyone with this, but will you guys just wake up (offers a free splash of water) & finally SEE THINGS? this is life yo, life itself is shitty & (possibly) dramatic so expect a shitload of shits thrown your way when you try to interrupt someone else's life with the possible worst way ever.
it is dramatic- in a shitty way. never vice versa. life is no beautiful happy ending sweet as cotton candy as those potrayed in dramas.

i guess kpop does teach you a lot of things,after all. things that you have yet to learn in rl, things that you wish you knew earlier, things that act as a prevention-before-cure, things that slap you hard in the face about the cruel reality of life(if you're still too young to experience now you know), things that say a lot about one's dream & how it can be crushed by wrong marketing or how cutting words merely written online can drive someone to the suicidal point. & many many more. there's a useful lesson(that you can imply into rl) behind every shit that happened. & for those shit-just-got-real-incidents, i feel terribly sorry & am greatly impacted as well. but it usually took me just a few hours to calm down & get back on rl because dont these things happen so often its worthless to mourn & scream & cry & wail & idk, what next? hang yourselves just because your favourite guy just caught influenza or because he ran into an accident or because he's dating someone or because he took drugs etc? kpop is no fantasy or beautiful fairy tale, guys. stop freaking out on every single thing. chill the fuck down, little fangirls >:|
no one is perfect and yes the idols maybe are but they can't possibly be perfect EVERY SECOND OF THE DAY. get over it. jeez.

because i'm almost a grown up now. (i still feel a little insecure at times because its cancer's nature to protect themself from getting hurt even if they hv a hard shell because it is breakable when you step on it)
however at times i still feel relatively new to kpop because for heaven's sake,think of those who hopped into the bandwagon way before you did. (for most of us, TVXQ/SJ popularized kpop) but for those who've been in even earlier, ie the H.O.T/FTTS/SHINHWA days, what have they all been up to? work. money, marriage. kids.
yeah :\ so i really really appreciate kpop now because i know i'll be one of them in the future, many years ahead, but still time flies so just live the moment to its fullest y'all. & when the time comes, all the idol groups in the 21st century will be replaced by a new batch of idols & by that time,we dont know kpop anymore because we're all old xD
& yay taemin & dongho & the 43284247 idols of my batch will age the same time as i do too, xD haha why am i so delusional? xD

& then it was when it hit me deep, in 2009, all these young debutees rolled in like moneh(super yay for advertising/cf/magazine companies bcuz young is good :S) & popped out of nowhere. so all of a sudden, you have a bunch of these young amateurs who's still in their 9th grade shaking their butts against your screen. (hey what i LOVED mister) not referring to mister's booty shake because it is effin awesome, but rather you know those 'ugh-imma-bitch-dance-my-ass-in-your-face' kind?
um say what, yeah you can nvr get me liking a girl group with the name RAINBOW (ugh)
but that's not the main point. the thing that bugs me the most is the fact that NONE OF THEM LOOKED THEIR AGE. age can be deceiving, my foot. i say looks>age. you can go around handing out lollipops adult fliers & not have someone question your age.
because the next thing you know,the one dancing their ass off on the screen is probably a year or two ahead you, and you go 0___0

that said, i don't have a liking for the younger batch,sorry. i tolerated the 93'er batch but i remember how speechless & dumbfounded i was when SHINee first debuted & omfgwhat taemin is what, my age? he sure grows a lot in a span of 2 yrs though.
even if 93'ers is just next to the youngest batch of the idols. sigh. i can assure you there'll be a 95 96 97 er batch coming soon, its just a matter of time XDDD

& because i still have this 'freeze' expression on each time i stop & thought(hey she's sooo fierce,then omgwhat she's 18/19)? , there you go~
credits_kbites
*click to enlarge

just look at these people, people, now tell me do they shock you in the slightest way possible?
EACH TIME I LOOK AT THIS CHART I FEEL SO DECEIVED & INCOHORENT & EFFED UP AGAIN&AGAIN&AGAIN. -__-;;
ngl, Luna shocked me big time. she's my age gdi! idk why i couldn't believe it either.. :O
& jiyeon wtf jiyeon. she's so fierce in 'i go crazy because of you' i cant tell her & hyomin apart. is. a. 93'er. ouch.
as for seunghyun & amber never could have guessed their age either.
and hyuna,sigh. jz a year ahead me. yeah. we all know that. fml >:|
not that seeing eli & kevin in the 91'er line is helping either :D.(but this is OSM SRSLY) (bcuz what, i'm legal to date them in my dreams, so stop saying i'm illegal xD)
CL. 91'er. uhm,okay........
MINZY. 94'er. dear god, all-time conspiracy. :O

all in all, im fine with the rest innocent-looking-ones being a head ahead or below me but thats not the same thing with the IMMA LICK UP YR SCREEN WITH MA SEXY POLE DANCE & HEY IM THE BADDEST FEMALE IN SEOUL GTFO (haha,cl anyone? xD) albeit they're barely legal. or rather, in my fucking age territory. lol wtf is wrong with me? 8D
F WORD ABUSE MODE ON.

but yay most of my bias play by my age territory~ puahahahahahㅋㅋㅋㅋ

on a side note, if i were to date only my batch & the younger ones, you know i can never choose between taemin & dongho. do i even have a choice,really? xD
i got over this long time ago but i cant help to be bothered at times xD
then again my metabolism & growth hormones has been insane for quite a while now so maybe i was being slightly sarcastic with these kids xD

andd now you've got kids like taemin wondering what the heck happened to the whole 'i'm the youngest of them all when i first debuted omg yay' but now i'm just glad he doesn't lay a fist on dongho xD of course he wouldn't, that kid is cotton, remember? & plus dongho knits so he is born that way, a natural cutie pie uhm CUTE BEAR. (i feel my hair standing as i say that last word lol a lot better now haha)

so anyway you've got a 15 year old licking up your screen & killing her booties with excessive shake(once again I'M NOT REFERRING TO MISTER PLS BE UNDERSTANDING LOL KTHX) & the perverted old ahjusshis are jizzing their pants & if a 15 yr old(please,just let me strengthen that once again) can be labelled as EROTIC, idk what can't be. (sry i like you minzy but pls cut down the sexiness :\) you're younger by just a year, still you wouldn't want someone younger than you by a year to pole-dance in front of you right bb? ^^V

but now. look, we have an idol band with an average age of 17 & you call that okay?
well, i was about to disapprove but because they're talented as hell so i gave them a chance. & wtf they're from XING. i knew kevin but these kids were new to me! i suppose i haven't been paying much attention to the 5th gen of xing..

all in all, i still stick by kpop because this people who ACTUALLY made it are the ones who has limitless passion & patience stored in them & a number of them probably didn't even realise just how strong they are. its the invisible strength, & because they're so strong & tough & unbreakable its insane,you're able to feel the insanity in the air- idk.

these days i get worn out in the fandom. which i really do. 3 years already & i'm just not as indulged as compared to the early days anymore. the longest span of time i foresee myself fangirling is until i hit 30 & that'll be it. man idk :D i guess you can go on long as you want as long as you're always young at heart~ LOL XD

p.s. there is no offense meant to anyone mentioned in this post.
well, i think i'm kinda making fun of some of them but hey it's just a fun rant so i dont give a sheet. :)

Labels: kpop rant