beware. long post ahead.
while i'm at it,a pic spam to start the entry. why,it doesn't hurt anw >D
after all its been a while isnt it? my blog is filled with such depressing posts lately i feel pathetic to even come here ;_;
lets not talk about nonsense. its rare for me to be in this good mood,so dont spoil the mood myself .


gais. i present to you...
















lee hong ki, MY MEDICINE MAN. stab me all you want,irdc.

i finally noticed the small lips. lol inappropriate but i have a thing for guys with small lips. TMI, XD.
(tmi=too much info.)

i never knew.
he did caught my attention,but it didn't last long. because that was the around the same time SHINee debuted & i totally abandoned F.T

until lately,i listened to F.T's song a lot,when i'm down.
and.. i just fell for him all over again. his voice cures my depression. ive never really thought about it,but this man is one heck of a million.

i had had a lot of favs in the past. majority of them are definitely from sj,as if my bias wasn't obvious enough. i had favs but something is just missing.
teuk. onew. donghae. hyukjae. key. ryeowook.(this too!) they're my drugs,but hong ki is the medicine. one or two traits from them are close to my ideal type in rl,but... ugh,what am i yapping about? its um...ugh... wait idk how to describe this. its like.. ugh scrap that, i REALLY suck at explaining gosh i am totally drunk lol. .__.
but i cant even joke about how i feel about him. that means,ITS SPECIAL. i dont label it as a crush or love but just special. not in a madly starstrucked way either.. but just special. i dont even know how to describe how special it is.. or perhaps i should call it UNIQUE. YES UNIQUE IS THE RIGHT WORD.

all this while ive been hooked to my fav list & i just mess around among the list.

but look.. hong ki isn't. he's different from all the idols i used to fangirl. he's different. something is different about him. idc what you think,he is different & thats enough. I AM SO DRUNK.


his voice echoes my pain. you know its already so sad to listen to,yet you still listen & never want to stop listening because for you,sadness cures sadness. only sadness overcomes sadness. its like washing away wound with water. though it hurts,but its the first thing needed to be done to the injury. miraculously it cures. oh my gawd lame comparison ;_;

he doesnt exactly does wonders,but its a lot better than before. i wishNEED i could TO install him in my head. he is my medicine,mine.


the feeling is there a while ago,but the realization is too sudden. or should i say,it took me such a long time to realise i've fell for this man.
and............... talking about the small age gap(he's a 90'er.)... so much for self-syok... *smackselfwithabrick* XD lol i'm INSANE.


this time i won't be wrong. ITS THIS MAN. HE'S THE ONE.
the missing puzzle. the emptiness in me that noone would be able to understand. the emptiness that noone will be able to fill. the emptiness that not even happiness can replace.
he filled the emptiness;not completely(i wont lie) but at least it wasn't as horrible as before.
he's the only one who can put me into sleep on a teary night. he's the light i see in darkness...? ohdang.
silly me,he's been around all this while,& i was never aware. but you know how they say the right thing usually comes on the right time?







talking about you're beautiful,i cant believe its ending so soon. they deserve better ratings & imo,it was a really GOOD drama.definitely beats out BOF. just the ost is worth the $
& to end the entry,here's a extremely adorable picture of my top bias in YAB which obviously features some brotherly love. ;D


bonus:




i feel a lot better after writing this post. this entry will make up for all the gloomy mood in the past entries,i hope.

/needs to forget about unnecessary burdens. /hong ki where are you! ♥*
hk:/comes out with food
me:GAH I LOVE FOOD! *grabshongki* 8D ♥♥♥


i'll do the bricking myself,shoo.



p/s: I MUST FEEL BETTER. MUST. I CANT LIVE LIKE THIS ANYMORE