it doesn't bother me anymore. well,actually nothing bothers me anymore. =) right now i'm happy and thats what matters >D i cant promise i'll live everyday to its fullest because im not a cheerful person(ouch used to be can?) like that but i'll try, well i'm still emo as i am but its all good the next second ill be fine~ ^~^
i need to be sad before i be happy so i dont feel all that bad.something is so wrong with me.sigh. nyway
im not lettin anythin get into my way anymore. its hard for the maturity cells to develop but i think i had enough to grow up now. i hope this is right & i'm not thinking the wrong way instead. i hope my p.o.v(s) generally is right enough to be mature. i may not grow up in my actions, but i am constantly learning something & finding the meaning in it day by day. THIS, im doing it very hard because i dont like to have weak thoughts & be an aimless/thoughtless/insensitive person. wait you think i am? go ahead. idc cuz you aint got nothing on me

♥
i've developed such a deep crush for rainy days & stormy nights (crush? you call that crush when you liked it since you were like,idk 6? :D) i was born on a rainy night or morning if you prefer, 12.24am to be exact, and no unlike teuk im not an angel that descended to earth but the opposite. to the point i couldn't find any word to express my undying love(im such a sunshine hater gloomy wannabe haha) no rly i dont think anything could make me feel more at ease than a windy /rainy/stormy night because thats when my mind functions sunk into imaginations the best. :D a lot of thoughts,good or bad,meaningful or meaningless,they all roll in like how stars fill the sky one by one accompanying the lonely moon. & so they stay throughout the night chit chatting with the moon and winks at one another, shining down to earth. i'd say, the stars exist for the moon. they're there for her. sometimes they flush my mind so fast it was too much to handle so that explains the lack of conscious in rl D:
they say i think too much but dont sensitive ppl think the most? dont ppl who think a lot, love a lot too? idk.

i cant be bothered can i? all of an effing sudden this adult syndrome thing is hitting me so hard i'm never using my parents money for any useless purpose again.
whatever i wanna achieve now... i'll use both my hands. all my own effort. what can i do i aint capable of anything as far as i can remember so whats a good job with mid-average pay? I'LL DO ANYTHING. BUT I'M ONLY 17. SUCKS. no im not running out of cash but this is what i wanna do for this home. i wanna contribute something. not just sit there and
& it came to me-
blogshops. the internet. the effin internet. what have i been doing with it? ive been spending so much time shopping online(okay now i dont generally buy every single thing, just that i'm used to the guidelines and i only pick stuffs that is worthy) but why didnt i realise i could do the same too? if i could set up a blogshop or do some retailing selling in lowyat... it'll be fun. whatever it is i'm confident and well getting started is easy but it gets hard in the process and i probably wont even make all that much due to the competitive market.(marketing research anyone?) but its all good. haha i'm an avid online shopper myself(not anymore) so
long as i keep my head on it & work hard its no big deal^^ but that shall wait...at least not until SPM ends. well idk, i cant wait any longer. sigh. why didnt i think of this last year!? UGH. theres gazillions sponsors looking for sellers in lowyat & im never bothered. !!??!!????!!??? OH THE REGRET. DDDDD<
man i thought so hard day by day but it never came to me. well FINALLY! i cant wait to get started. geeeeez. x____x oh mang idk since when i've dug an interest for business. if anything theres only about 3 things i wanted to do. business promises the furthest future. something i could foresee myself doing it for a long time...... but ah well. idk. ^^

I hate always having to ask my parents for money. idk that feeling eats at me so bad. I BEARED WITH IT FOR 4 FUCKING YEARS EVER SINCE HIGH SCHOOL, RIGHT NOW I'M JUST A FEW STEPS CLOSER TO ADOLESCENCE STAGE. and if i could... i'd do everything but no i'm no genius and so i have to figure out things with my lousy brain tq

whatever you could bring me down 49324932048029 times & i'll still stand up again. aight?

p.s this was meant to be posted on labour day but the connection went cuckoo for days. right now im having some mood disorder again. FML

Labels: bring me down bby; it adds my strength.